Well, damn, it’s been a year already!
365 opportunities to make better choices
A whole year is a lot of time. 365 opportunities to decide to do the ‘right’ thing or chose the better option. To either workout or be a couch potatoes, to eat a bounty of greens or sugar filled pastries, to read a book or watch Netflix… Not that any of these choice make a difference when selected once or twice, they certainly do when chosen consistently, 365 times.
A whole year, is also not that long! Most of us will have lots of years to do over, but most importantly here, some things do take more than one year to accomplish. Some projects takes years, some are never ending, as you can always get better at what ever you are doing, what you are trying to achieve.
Sure, in today’s world, when you tell someone, it will take at least a year to learn ‘insert skill’, lots of people will not even consider starting to learn. People want to be fluent in a new language in a week or 2, max. People mostly want to be amazing photographers, guitar players, coders, mixologists, pastry chef, or whatever, without putting the work required. If a 15 years old can do it on TikTok, so can they.
And when trying for a hour, and probably failing, at least slightly, most people give up.
We are too impatient!
Impatient, in a hurry and maybe a bit lazy. We tend to want to see results before even really trying. It’s a reality for many, or at least for many of us, in various aspect of our lives.
Selective participation! When you are super motivated by certain things and a lot less by others.
I was too, especially with my body
Just like many, I used to do an abs work out and look in the mirror to see if made a difference, right then!
Spoiler alert: it didn’t!
I used to stretch irregularly and be irritated that I still couldn’t do the split!
And indeed, without really realizing it, I used to have a very uneven diet. Still do sometimes, but getting much better at it!
The list goes on but you get the point.
Now, I have a different attitude and it has lead to great results. No, I still can’t do the split actually!
I used to be impatient and I now recognize it’s a long term project. My body, the way it operates, the way it feels, the way it bends or how strong it is. The way it aches or how good it feels… All of it. It’s the long term relationship I’m willing to bet on, to work for.
All of this to talk about the changes and where I am, one year in!
A work in progress I am! Yes I’ve said it before but this is still how I feel.
I have accepted that it will take me time to get where I want to be. All these one week challenge, 2 weeks challenges or even the ‘get shredded in 6 months’ are not appealing to me! In fact, I see them as diets. You crash diet, you loose weight, you stop dieting and then you gain weight again. No thanks!
I’m working on my relationship with my body, and it’s a lifestyle change I’m operating, not a diet.
So where am I after a year?
The last couple months have been in a sort of stagnation phase. I haven’t lost much ‘volume’ in the most recent months. I even had the feeling a couple weeks back, that I had a slightly bigger tummy cushion, than before.
I am however stronger! My arms are maybe even getting a bit bigger than I hoped. Not sure about it, I don’t really know what would be “the ideal shape” actually.
Proof of strength? For the first time I did manage to lift Minty and put it on its rear stand. It was really hard but I’m going to get better at it! (This was and is still is one of my goal with this journey)
Overall, stagnation it is and that’s ok.
I’ve been ok with this stagnation phase for several reasons
The first one is that it has given my skin, time to handle the changes. if you read some of my previous pieces on this topic, you may have smiled when I wrote my boobs were sagging!
Well, yeah, if you loose boobs’ fat, their shape will change! Maybe for the better, maybe not!
But with time, your skin will shrink back some. Time, skincare, massage… these are things that help.
Another reason why I’m fine with this stagnation phase is that I needed time to see myself. To not be shocked when seeing my reflection. To accept my new body and to accept the way some people now look at me…
Now, the next reason might sound silly but it isn’t to me.
I had bought some new clothes and I didn’t want them to be too big, too soon. I kind of had created a winter capsule wardrobe, unintentionally I might add, and I didn’t want to have to redo it!
From what I bought a couple months back, there is one pair of trousers that became ridiculously too big very quickly and it annoyed me. Most of the other pieces, like skirts are a little loose, but not ridiculously loose so that’s ok.
Since Spring is here, I feel it’s now ok for further ‘shrinkage’ and I’ll almost happily go shopping for smaller summery clothes. I’m even hopping soon to get back to sewing!
This stagnation phase was anticipated
We all know that progress is usually incremental. I had accepted this. As previously wrote, I’m not racing anyone, I don’t have particular time expectations. I am a work in progress!
However, the main reason why this stagnation was expected is because of my specific situation.
I knew we would be moving and that I would have a whole lot to handle. I knew I would be exhausted. If a lot of time, exercising a little helped me cope with the stress, and the aches from caring boxes, building furniture or drilling holes, there were limits.
I simply needed time for my body to recover from these activities and I was willing to put my body transformation on hold for my apartment. To create an environment which would be later suitable for all my projects.
I am mentioning this, not to talk again about my apartment, but to make it clear that one should adapt to life circumstance. I have still worked out every week, during this phase. Just not as intensively and sometimes not quite often as before. It’s probably important to emphasis that I knew this period would be temporary. I would have handled different if it had not been.
Things I didn’t anticipate
Insomnia! I guess waking up at 3AM is called insomnia, right?
Pretty much since the beginning of the year, I have been irregular about my waking-up hour. Waking up at 5 is fine by me. 3 is a little too early 😉
Whenever I think it’s getting better, the next week proves me wrong.
This has a huge impact. I don’t think you can loose weight or operate optimally, if you don’t sleep well. I certainly can’t.
I used to have quite a sweet tooth. It hasn’t been the case for a long time. So it was quite a surprise how, while handling the move, I had cravings.
Cravings for junk food, sweet food, sugar. Yes, I was exhausted, but it still surprised me and since I’m still exhausted, it still kicks in every now and then, although I do now have more time (and energy and now a kitchen) to handle properly.
If you’ve read any of my pieces on our new apartment, you know that it is still not finished. A lot of contractors are MIA. We’re still sort of camping. It’s been a while now, like 2 months and I really don’t see it ending soon. And if you read any other pieces I wrote, you know we moved out from our previous apartment 3 months ago, lived in an AirB&B for a while… You know I was already packing things up 6 months ago or so… It’s been a long process.
Just putting things back into context because indeed it has been exhausting, physically and emotionally.
Now? I’m trying to focus on other things than the electric cables sticking out of the walls and the cracked ceilings, or the unfinished partition. I’m really trying!!
Now, I’m looking forward to getting back into a healthy routine. I am trying to relax, I’m trying to breath and focus on what I can do, so I’m focusing again on me and myself.
It really isn’t that easy to block out the rest, but I am expecting to be pleased with the efforts in 3 months or so. I got 90 days or so before my Birthday! I will make these count… No, I’m still not rushing anything. Just working toward my best self!
PS: there was a bit of an issue with my 9 months report which I had accidentally already called a yearly report for whatever troubles my mind had with time! 😉 I fixed it to make things clearer.