The other day, I came across this quote: “Your dreams are on the other side of your grit“. These prompted numerous thoughts on life, how we live, how I live, what I fear and to the things I dedicate my time to. Maybe too many thoughts, maybe too much time pondering…
It helps to sometimes stop and think of the big picture
Although I spent maybe a little too much time on this, I believe it’s often useful to pause and take a look at where you are, where you’ve been and where you should be, or where you want to get.
Maybe this is what prompted my monthly status update. Not just the wish to journal through a pandemic!
Maybe it’s just a very ‘project management’ approach. Considering life as the most important project you could ever tackle and having performance indicator was the way to measure your ‘progress’. KPI 1: happiness ; KPI2: health ; KPI 3: fun … Add as many KPI as you wish!
But then again, most likely, day dreaming about the things you want to achieve can be a way to escape reality. When I’m too tired to do anything else, after a day spent working, it certainly feels that way!
Nevertheless, I still think it is a useful exercise. To pause that is. To recenter, to review your achievements and failures alike, to plan ahead for the next steps. Knowing what you truly want, what your dreams are, certainly is the first step.
Yet, do we always want what is best for ourselves? Do we really know what we want?!
Rarely I would argue! And life can get in the way…
Sometimes dreams get derailed
It’s been almost 4 years since my mom passed away. Almost 4 years since my life changed completely. For the past 4 years, my life has been focused on just 3 priorities: Work, my dad & myself. Not sure it is in that order. I need money to pay bills and my various (fairly expensive) trips to see my dad and I need to take care of myself to be able to take care of him. That sums it up!
Sure I’ve done a lot of other things during these 4 years, but these are mostly handled when I get some free time. Sewing, drawing, blogging… These happen when they can happen. They get interrupted often. These projects were supposed to be something else by now. I had hoped to build something different, I had related projects that have been put on hold.
Indeed, an in my sole experience, dreams get derailed!
And sometimes dreams change completely
Somehow, our lives on Earth are quite short and quite long at the same time. One day you want to be a veterinarian, the next day you want to be something else. You may have worked years toward a goal, studied hard and then you wake up one day, feeling you need to start over. It’s ok!
It’s ok to want to change, reinvent yourself and experience something new. It’s bound to happen in the World we live in! Honestly I think it’s almost sad, if it doesn’t!
Yet, it doesn’t mean throwing your old self away, it doesn’t mean your past experience and expertise will no longer have value. Everything you’ve done before, everything you are, can be helpful.
A couple years back, if someone had told me I would soon become independent or that I would own a vintage motorcycle, I would have said they were bonkers! But here we are! And now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Somewhere along the way, my dreams changed while life was happening.
Sometimes you learn things you didn’t expect to learn
Last Saturday, while at my dad, I was standing in the garage in front of the engine of the second motorcycle we are renovating. It was there, on the workbench, complete.
I paused, a little shocked. I looked around looking for part I may have forgotten. There weren’t any. That, maybe shocked me even more!
I had rebuilt it in a blink. With almost no hesitation. It was just so easy, so logical.
And I wondered how I got there and what happened to me, for having managed to rebuild a motorcycle engine with ease!! Without breaking a nail, I may add!
If someone had told me a couple years back, that I would actually learn mechanic, renovate motorcycles and be able to rebuild an engine by myself, I really really would have called them bonkers!
Hey, to be clear, now that the engine is clean and rebuild, we’re going to see our mechanic to sort out some of the identified issues! The work isn’t over yet!
“OK, you’ve learned some mechanic, but how is that life changing?” Well, that is a good question! Thank you for asking although I’m afraid I can’t precisely give you an answer. What I can say is that learning such new skill has opened up new other possibilities. It has brought me new relationships too and given me the strength to consider and handle other projects.
Doing something that seems impossible at first, makes you see other things, as possible.
Maybe even becoming someone you didn’t expect to become!
And while life is happening, you may accidentally become someone you didn’t expect to become…
Your priorities shift, your dreams change, you evolve and become someone a little different. Maybe even someone completely different.
It’s ok! Well except if you become a murderer, that’s not ok!
What I’m trying to say here, is that some goals are maybe not meant to happen, some dreams should just be dreams and that is ok. There might be something better waiting for you. Something which will make you happier.
How does that answer the first question?
Oh yeah! I didn’t forget the first question which was “Are your dreams on the other side of your grit or your fears?“
And my answer is a little bit of both!
A lot of our dreams require relentless determination to happen. At the very least a strong commitment and willingness to go beyond our own limits. And work, a lot of work!
But fears can stop us.
Fear will sometimes stop us from crossing the finish line. Fear is what makes us do great things but sometimes prevent us from making them amazing.
So indeed, your dreams may be waiting for you on the other side. So just keep going! No matter what lies in between you and your goal. You will learn something, no matter what happens and even if you don’t make your dream come true.
PS: I can already hear some of you thinking that I failed reaching my dreams because I didn’t have a plan or not enough determination. That I wrote part of this to justify failing making some of my dreams come true… things like that. You are entitled to such opinions. If that’s the case, I’m sorry I didn’t manage to convey my message properly.
To be clear, a couple years, back, I had dreams which were completely different. I was also a different person. And quite frankly, I doubt I would have been friend with myself. I truly find myself a better person now, a much nicer person and maybe even a slightly more interesting person than I was back then. So, I’m absolutely & completely thankful that some of my dreams and goals didn’t happen!! The dreams I had would have taken me on the wrong path. I know it now. I didn’t know it back then.
PS 2: Why did I used pictures of Antelope Canyon here? Because going back to Antelope Canyon was one of my dreams. A dream that came true, although admittedly it was a while back now. A new trip might be required soon!
Check out RTatW for more pictures! Link above.