Apparently, I still have work to do…
This is a little follow up on my financial situation and the evolution of my money mindset.
I wanted to share because until fairly recently, I didn’t understand this ‘money mindset’ thing people talked about. I thought this was just a made-up expression. Something much talked about but not really concrete. Articles gave examples I didn’t relate to, or that were too extreme, maybe too obvious, sometimes even maybe reckless. At least for me.
But then, I guess I started to understand.
And maybe you feel the same way and maybe this will help a little.
A little summary
I wrote about it before and I think the best summary is in this piece: Reflexions on getting career advice, knowing your worth and money mindset.
Trying to summarise, the summary already provided there, would be something like:
I was happy with my income and its regular increases. About a year ago, I got an offer that blew me off. I freaked out. I asked for advise and the responses opened my eyes to this money mindset thing! I thought about it a lot, so I wrote about it.
There is more sprinkled in my Money talk section!
Now? Well, the offer I got doubled up slowly enough for me to ‘accept’ it. After a year, I’m managing the workload more and more efficiently and confidently.
However, what happened more recently was unexpected…
What happened? Beware it may sounds weird
The offer was supposed to come with what I called a ‘tsunami of cash’. But…the pouring hasn’t happened yet!
Instead, a lot of the latest payments made by my client did not reach me. There is an issue with the bank, which has not been sorted. You read this correctly, my client paid lots of my invoices (and sent me the proofs) but the money was never credited to my bank account.
I think it’s really weird but I also think it’s partially my fault. We’ll dig into that in a short while, but first, I need to confirm the below because that’s the juicy part. .
What I need to emphasis is that indeed, I still I got paid more than what I used to, as some of the payments did go through and were credited to my account.
And recently it struck me.
- I got paid enough to cover for my forecasted income taxes, VAT and social security. Which is extremely good!
- Also, I got paid enough to cover for my new apartment expenses. The kitchen, the bathrooms, mirrors, lamps, some furniture, curtains, new beddings… some of these items sounds trivial and inexpensive on their own but these expenses have added up extremely quickly to ridiculous amounts.
And that is it! My personal bank account level shows the same balance, as a year ago, before this golden offer.
Basically, I realised recently that I got paid enough. I got paid what I needed. Not more.
I got what I needed because of my money mindset
The realisation that I got paid enough, not more, got me really thinking.
The circumstances got me thinking too. It felt too weird. The likelihood that the payments would be made but would get blocked by the bank in charge was low. Transactions get blocked all the times but usually not this type of transactions, not these amounts and not for this long.
And then, as mentioned above, I realised that it was, at least partially, my fault. I realised that I was still not ready for this ‘tsunami’. I though I was! I really did. But it seems I wasn’t.
Despite talking and writing about my money mindset shift, this still happened and I thought it was quite interesting on its own because it is a very concrete example.
You may think it’s just a technical issue and not relate to this mambo jumbo. I understand and that’s ok.
On my side, I really think that somehow the way I perceive my worth, the way I operate and the energy I project are the main reasons for this to have happened. I basically blocked these payments. I basically told the universe “I have enough”, like I always have.
Indeed I get what I need thanks to my money mindset but also, I only get what I need because of my money mindset!
So now, I need to think of the next steps to change this.
What shall be done?
First of all, I should remain extremely grateful.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Time and time again, the universe has provided for me. The perfect job add, one CV and I got the job is something that has happened to me more than once. Amazing on its own. Call it luck if you wish, but I have always been taken care off (by the universe, not a man!). Even when the situation was dire, even when I had to manage with very little, I was never unsafe and something always came my way, to make things better.
The fact that I got contacted by this new client last year, just when I was stressing about the expenses linked to our new apartment, is also quite something. All the expenses indicated above would have been painful to pay if I had not received this extra money. Not impossible but painful.
So indeed I will remain extremely grateful that I got this new opportunity, that it has grown beyond what was planned and most importantly, that I got paid what I needed, never being in any financial distress.
I will recognise (again) that it stressed me out to earn so much more.
Yes, I said this before but I think it had not sunk in entirely, at the time. At the time, all of this was still a possibility, a near future, not my new reality. I had not yet sent any invoice for example, which is a very important step.
Unfortunately, I have to recognise that it still does stresses me out!
However, it seems different now. Not as bad as it was, for a starter. Plus it feels more like a phase linked to the economy. The uncertainties… How do you even invest at the moment? I was never good with investments but now?!
OK, wait, for good measures… please remember I’m not becoming an instant millionaire! And it doesn’t matter how much I’m earning, it’s just more than I used to and that’s what stresses me out.
Honestly, I don’t yet fully understand why I’m so scared but I’m pretty sure it is really all about the perception of my own value.
So I need to rewrite the perception I have of my own value.
Again, I’m pretty sure this is the underlying issue that has lead to the stagnation I have experienced in both my physical transformation and the changes in my financial situation.
These are the 2 areas I have been working on, actively.
A set of limiting beliefs, which feels glued to my DNA, is preventing me from moving forward, telling me the progress up to now are enough. I need to stop this and learn to accept what is undoubtedly coming.
Will see how this goes!
Meanwhile, I do have to write to my client to ask for an update on the resolution of the issue!
That’s it for now. I hope you found this helpful and it gave you new ideas on how to explore your own money mindset and how it materialises. Let me know!