Or when your career takes a huge leap forward and you are only mildly ready for it!
The last year has been a transformative year for me on various levels including with regards to money. In all honesty, transformation didn’t happen overnight, it’s more the culmination of years of work and progress.
Yet, I recently received a business proposal which threw me years back, if not decades! I was a mess for a few days, I sort of rejected the offer at first. How could I possibly handle!?
The objections I shared which my client, my partner and the friends I spoke to, to get advise, were mostly about time management. I honestly wasn’t sure I could handle the significant amount of work this offer represent.
The objections I kept to myself were actually money related! It took me a few days to understand it.
Let me tell you what happened in a bit more details…
First, let’s back up a little so you have a better understanding
I’ve already shared a lot of ground information about my money mindset, my business and my financial status, in 2 ‘significant’ articles.
One relates to earning money, and the way I have grown my business. It is called, Saving money isn’t enough. In such a piece, I explain part of my journey. How I grew my income by 15 to 20% every year, by not listening to the common advises I received and what I did instead. Basically, I help my clients grow and I got to grow with them, by constantly showing up for them, by being reliable & trustworthy.
The other article which gives maybe the most background information on my former money mindset is called Financial advises I wish I followed when I was 20 something. In such a piece, I explain for example how bad I used to be at saving or how I never had a budget, until a couple years back and how things completely changed in the last couple of years.
On a side note, writing the above, I realized I’m pretty bad at titles!!
Anyway, the reason I’m referring to these articles is because from there, you can easily read between the lines how emotionally screwed I am, maybe generally (!), but especially when it comes to money. At least how screwed I was, how I had the wrong money mindset for years and how things have evolved in the last couple years. Not just because I have a budget!
Now a tsunami is coming! How am I doing financially before it?
So far this year, my income has been consistent with last year and last year was pretty good, despite the pandemic.
Budget wise, I’ve spent less than my budget most months and saved in total an additional 12% which I have invested in online crowdfunding platforms. It isn’t a huge amount because for now I tend to consider this, not as an investment but as an expense, as well as an experiment. So I’ve only transferred to such platforms the difference between my monthly budget and my actual expenses. I still got work to do here to trust this is an actual investment!
So overall for the past 6 months, I have saved over 40% of my income.
This is income minus professional expenses (including VTA, social security & taxes & provisions) minus personal expenses (including well everything, like rent, grocery, insurances, my bikes and my investment in online crowdfunding).
Not bad I would say! And better than last year so far! Especially considering that I lowered my budget by 7% compared to last year.
Plus I should say that I have made larger than needed provisions for social security and tax expenses so my savings could be above 50% in reality but will stick to 40% to be conservative.
So indeed, leaving on a tight budget, without feeling deprived, has become a superpower!
An incredible opportunity leading to my demons resurfacing
The offer I received from one of my existing clients will, at the bare minimum, triple my income. Most of my new fees will be fixed, and a portion will get invoiced on a time basis, so it could be slightly more than tripled. We’ll stick to x3 to be, once more, conservative.
I used to pride myself for my consistant 15 to 20% yearly income increase but this is a 300% yearly increase and well… it freaked me out! As mentioned above, at first I kind of rejected the offer. (on a side note, this honest & argued rejection is probably what got them to insist on having me on board, with such project)
And again as mentioned above, there was a potential time management issue which is what I first put forward, but the truth is that it got sorted and it turned out what I was most afraid of was to earn so much money!
You read this correctly! I was afraid of earning so much money. And also I didn’t think I deserved it.
Despite all the personal work I did on my money mindset, in the few days that followed the offer, I spiraled and had to face my old self again. It wasn’t pretty. It was unfair to my current self, to have to face such demons again. I thought I had slayed them but they were just hiding, getting ready to come back stronger at the first opportunity.
It was hard, really hard to put them back where they belong, to fight them again and ensure that they were trapped for good, if not dead.
My partner greatly helped once more. With the right amount of kind words about my career, my excellent track record, etc., he almost convinced me. He ended with the right amount of kick in the butt, the sort I needed! He knows the balance I need. Well… sometimes!
So here I am now, ready to face this new challenge. Happy, proud and excited to have such an opportunity. And yes, very excited to triple my income!
A transformative opportunity
Since I spend plenty of time in my head, torturing myself and coming up with new potential issues, I must admit that I still have some smaller demons to face.
I went straight to do tax simulations and realized I was going to make the government really happy. Then I contacted my accountant, then I considered if I should increase my budget. etc. etc.
I even got my divination cards out and the first card that jumped out of the deck literally said: “pursue with confidence a new professional project“So I drew more cards, like any sane person would do!
Then I tried to simulate in how many years I could easily repay the mortgage on the apartment my partner and I bought last year.
It went on and on… ups and downs…
All of this slowed down once I had to draft the contracts needed! I had to go in work mode and didn’t let these thoughts come back afterwards.
I can now feel this is what I have been waiting for. What is going to make me feel financial safe. I had already reached an important milestone with this regard, and although it felt really good, it was still not enough for my crazy self. Well maybe this isn’t going to feel enough either! Nut case I am!
Will I increase my budget? Maybe a little but not in the near future. Will I buy more jewelry? Oh tempting!! Will I focus next year on furnishing our new apartment with exclusive antiques? Probably. I actually might need to buy a car first and I’m dreading that part a bit.
Will see. I know that for the next couple months, I’m not going to change much of my spending habits because I don’t feel the need to. My dad remains a priority and the expenses linked to the second bike renovation are still going to pile up. So for a few months, I think I’m just going to breath in and enjoy the peace of mind money brings! And I’m going to work slightly more than usual! Obviously!
Later, when I’m settled in my role, once I got used to the work load, once we have moved and paid all the extra costs of our new apartment, I will consider the next steps.
So you see all is not sorted, but I’ve accepted this opportunity and I can’t wait to see how it comes in place and how it changes my life.
Why am I sharing all of this?
Not to get crypto advises, not to get any financial advises of any sort actually.
Not to get congratulated either. Not to make anyone jealous.
I’m talking about this to hopefully help you on your own journey. This really isn’t about “everything comes in time” bullsh$@#t. This is about a gal who had to fight a lot of her own demons to accept her own value. As you read above, she isn’t entirely there yet, but is taking one small step at a time, in the right direction.
It’s maybe to help you understand your own money mindset, something I could barely recognize until not so long ago and maybe you can’t either. I think the way I first reacted is a great example of what having the “wrong money mindset” is, what it does, what sort of consequences it can have.
If you are anything like me, you have probably read a few or a lot of articles on this ‘money mindset thing’. A lot are about changing your beliefs, repeating a sort of mantra, or things like that. I guess these can be helpful but I thought that, maybe, the story above could be as well.