The #TradWife movement pisses me off but maybe I understand

OK. Maybe I understand part of the allure it has. Maybe!

Still, I would never be a trad wife and I’m really glad to not be in my twenties right now.

Just pretty pink flowers to brighten your day

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Short version

I’m tired and I too feel like the news cycle and the day to day hamster wheel make me want to retreat from the world, buy land to live on a homestead and be free. Would I bake bread? Probably not!

Longer version

I’ve been sick, nothing major but just enough to slow me down. The brain fog is hard to handle. I get just enough energy to do the work I need to do to continue to have happy clients.

Yet, let’s be clear that I would not change my life for a #TradWife life any time of the week.

The movement pissed me off. The manosphere ideas are spreading like a virus and the women who are siding with those outdated cliche are just as dangerous as the insecure bros who are regurgitating them.

The most vociferous are all desperate. They are also just trying to make money off human insecurities.

I’m quite convince that they are all holding onto a life line. This too shall pass but it won’t come a minute too soon for my sanity!

Yet, in the midst of it all, I woke up this morning with a realisation: the traditional wife are just seeking a life where things are easier. And I get that!

They want to take care of the house and raise the children without the burden of a career. It’s easier.

They want to have time to bake cake. It probably feels easier than having all the knowledge you have to have to navigate labels in supermarket!

They think having a garden and a chicken coop is all they need, apart from a working husband and beautiful kids. A loving family, surrounded by a small but loving community.

I guess we must not forget to sprinkle a bit of Jesus and the Bible into the mix of the homestead! Of course!

This sounds all great, but in reality this seems to all be about retreating from the harshness of the world.

Secluded on their homestead, cooking and cleaning feels safe no matter what happens on the other side of the World or next door. There is no dissociation needed when baking a cake as one does not need to know or think about the starving children in war zones.

Tomatoes are growing in the garden but the trad wife doesn’t need to worry if blight wipes them out, she will buy some in the supermarket with her husband money. She does not need to worry about climate change, bird flue or else.

Hopefully her husband is not too much of a traditional husband as they are not known for their capacity for emotional support. Maybe a cuddle here and there but not much more. But he earns enough, maybe…

She doesn’t think about the latest policy which might take away some of her rights. She doesn’t worry about anything that isn’t related to her daily life and her little community. Life is bliss.

Only until doom strikes. A divorce? A sick kid? Fracking in her backyard? Back to reality!

But all in all, I somehow get it. Living a simple life has been one of my motto. Except I’m a financially independent woman who is anything but a trad wife even if I cook and clean my apartment!

So yeah, I think I understand part of it. I’m still pissed.

To understand your own bias and programming

I would highly recommend the Breaking Down Patriarchy YouTube channel of Amy McPhie Allebest. I absolutely admire the kindness and understanding she continues to have, despite it all.

Here is one video but there are many very interesting ones.