Overthinking and when it’s time to move on

There is a situation, in my life, right now, I would like to discuss but I can’t. So, as usual, I started overthinking about it and realized a couple things…

Overthinking is my thing! And while overthinking about this situation, I started overthinking on how I overthink things!

If you’re anything like me, there are probably conflicting little voices in your head which tend to create constant chatter, when faced with situations.

One of those little voices tells you all the reasons why you would be a bad person to do this or that. That you are not being fair, that you didn’t think this through, that you are being unreasonable, that life isn’t black and white, that people have flaws, that you certainly have flaws too. Who do you think you are to even think you deserve better?! Such little voice can also be saying that your righteousness isn’t so righteous after all. This little voice can also be the one to say that this decision will lead to chaos and despair. The grass isn’t always greener elsewhere and you really should stay put and accept the situation for it isn’t as bad as you’re trying to make it.

And then you may have this other little voice. The one that tells you that you are better than that. That you do deserve better. This little voice seems kinder at time and more positive. It tells you that all will work out for the best, that you should not tolerate this situation or that you should do this or that, even if you’re scared.

Oh, fear not if you have more than 2 little voices in your head. I certainly have a third one! (I swear I don’t suffer from multiple personality disorder or other stuff!)

So what does this third little voice got to say? Usually it says: stop overthinking! Life is too short to spend time ruminating. Spend your time differently. Plan and act. Get sh*t done and move forward!

At this point, if you’re a little worried for me, I thank you for your consideration. It’s very kind of you. However on my side, I’m not too worried… although I have been and sometimes I’m still a little but not too much overall… aaaahggrhhhh!!  Ok so, actually I kind of believe that when I manage to get my head out of the water, I’m currently learning and growing from all of this. Let me explain…

As I had mentioned before, when you lose someone you love, and every now and then, when you manage to get a little bit of a clear head, you tend to reconsider everything in your life. As you become conscious of your own mortality, some of the things that were once important to you, do not hold the stage anymore. Others take their places and this is hopefully for the better.

When grieving, overthinking is probably a good thing, if you ask me. There are probably different levels of overthinking with some more acceptable than others. So to be precise, overthinking your current relationships’ status is probably a good thing and I’m talking about all sorts of relationships here: your job, your partner, your friends… At one point, when grieving, you may feel like leaving everything behind and traveling around the World…. just don’t! Or at least not yet.

Overthinking such relationships’ status may not lead to a different conclusion but at least such decision will not be solely based on resentment or unreasonable negative feelings but instead on well thought arguments.

Overthinking may seem like a bad thing but it can be turned into something positive if the introspection is used to take actions based on the conducted analysis. It can also give you the time necessary to heal some of the wounds you probably never realized you had.

No, I’m not just trying to justify my tendency to overthink!

I truly believe that overthinking things, if followed by some good planning and judicious actions, is probably not as bad as it may seem. Maybe it won’t take you where you want to be as fast as you wish, but you will most certainly learn valuable lessons along the way. Valuable lessons like: How to decipher the clutter in your head. How to identify thoughts based on fear from those based on reasonable arguments.

When you listen carefully to yourself, you may even start to hear the most valuable little voice of all: your intuition. This other little voice  which knows better, no matter the circumstances.

Because this little voice is like the Grail. When it knows, it knows, and you really should just follow…

****

Did I hear my intuition in the clutter of my head about the situation I’m facing? Yes, I did.

Now, when it comes to relationship, taking the decision to end it, isn’t always easy. Actually, it can be really hard. My intuition had been telling me the same thing for sometime and I just didn’t want to hear it, mostly because I didn’t know how to face it. Realistically, I still don’t!

But the last event which occurred has to be the last straw. It is something I can’t possibly forgive, although I will try to forget for my own sake. Maybe it’s the other way around, but it doesn’t matter.

It’s time to move on…

 

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