Was November a disaster?

Following the horrible news received toward the end of an already too intense month of October, I had anticipated November to be a disaster. Was it?

Yes! It was dreadful but I guess it’s also a matter of perspective.

I know I’m repeating myself but this time I really need to write this: There is nothing interesting in this piece. I’m only writing it to remember, in case there is something I ever need to remember. You really really really don’t need to read any of this!

So yeah… Things were terribly hard to handle. My aunt-in-law situation was impossible. It was terribly draining. And then my aunt’s funeral…

In part, it was such a kick in the gut, that it forced me to follow my own advice and take better care of myself. Because you can’t take care of others, when you are, yourself, not so well. And so I did, well at least a little. Every day, at least I did something for myself. Sometimes it was really small but it was still good.

And yet, despite my best efforts, there are sometimes very little you can do, when you are being attacked on every front.

I normally love being in London, but my different trips this month made me hate everything.

Little follow ups

Online investments: On hold for a while. As mentioned before my goal was to make a dent to our mortgage by making an advance reimbursement. I worked on a 2023 cashflow and between tax and social security payments which will be due at one point or another, mid first semester could potential be tight. Well, this is all down the drain now, as we’ll have to pay for medical expenses for my aunt in law as well as all sorts of legal and consultant fees.

Sewing: Miracles do happen! And I kept sewing and I liked it! I finally showed the World how wonderful a vintage buttonholer is! Not that the World needed that since I’m not the first one, but let’s not spoil my enthusiast about such an amazing piece of ‘vintage technology’! Spoiler: it didn’t last very long!

Pam? For a while it felt I had forgotten who Pam was. But eventually I came back to her even if it didn’t last. I focused on cardio / HIIT trainings and it felt good. Pam has lots of ‘feel good’ dance workouts and they really do put you in a good mood. Plus it’s definitively a way to keep warm! It’s really unfortunate that it didn’t last.

Apartment progress: I really haven’t had a chance to do much. I did install a lamp in the dressing room. The kitchen partition was finally ordered. It won’t be there until February… 1 year after we moved in!

Time unfolding

I came back home on the first day of November from the most difficult trip to London. This is where I left it off and shall pick up.

First week

Yes I was exhausted physically but mostly mentally when I got home. I left my partner in London and actually, being home alone felt nice. Still the week turned out to be even more exhausting. As every time we thought we were making progress on his aunt situation, there was a major set back. One step forward, 2, 3… 10 steps back. The news came on Friday late afternoon – the transfer was rejected. We were knocked down.

Since bad news rarely come alone, I headed into the weekend by finding out I had to go get my dad to attend his sister’s funeral as my brother wasn’t going. Thanks a lot!

So I cooked! I was distressed and cooking helped me. And since I was going to be away again, my partner was going be thankful to have some diners sorted during my absence! The banana and chocolate tart didn’t last long though!!

Second week

I went to my dad’s place, the next day we went to Paris to attend the funeral and back home. I left the next day to get back home. My carbon footprint is a disaster, I know! This isn’t a family reunion and yet bits of these days felt like it. It wasn’t so bad. It was particularly nice that the ceremony was a celebration of her life, not church like ceremony about how much she had suffered. I hate these!

And so I was back home for a few days and took care of myself. Number one priority.

We went to an Art fair thinking that we might buy something. We didn’t and I think it’s about time I get my paint brushes back out.

Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris

Third week

Back to see my dad while my partner went back to London. I usually spend time with my dad because of my mom’s birthday and this week I stayed a little longer, as my aunt ashes were to be placed in his town’s cemetery. Funerals part 2! That felt weird and again not so bad. We had lunch at my dad’s place with my cousins, and that made this day a little less difficult.

That weekend I also took care of Minty and that felt really good. I even worked a little on the Peugeot tank, and that felt really really good!

One can wonder when I ever get some work done!

Fourth week

My partner was supposed to be back on Sunday, he actually came back Wednesday, and I left on Thursday to take his place in the hospital. On one side, I was dreading this trip, staying at my aunt’s house alone, being at the hospital… On the other side, I was trying to find ways to still enjoy such a trip. That didn’t really work.

Fifth week

To be honest I didn’t managed to enjoy my time in London. I think it is the very first time I was eager to leave. I had to move my flight so my partner and I could attend a dreadful meeting. Our path crossed at the hospital just for that and then I finally left.

Goodbye London!

In short

I know people say that the universe only sends you the hardship you can handle but I don’t see how that helps.

I’ve also been pondering a lot about what lessons I’m supposed to learn from my aunt in law situation, but again I’m not seeing it. Getting old simply sucks and you’d better have good plans in place to, maybe, get the care you want. Is that really it?

Maybe it’s that I am supposed to learn to take better care of myself? To prioritise? To get better organised? Sure there is always room for improvement there, but then again days are only 24h.

Well, November isn’t a month to remember and I sure hope you had a better time.