October was a mixed bag

My tenth monthly recap of this year! A little summary of life unfolding during a pandemic…

Autumn sunshine

New forewords (I’m done with the usual ones)

I would like to take this space today, to congratulate myself for keeping up with this idea of doing a monthly recap! Journaling has become a thing and I feel that, after 10 months of doing so, I can say I have learned quite a few things about myself, while doing this.

What have I learned, you may ask?

Well, for once, I learned that I’m far more productive than I thought. I have often felt that my energy level was quite low, that I maybe spent too much time sleeping! And probably too much time day dreaming. Which both prevented me from doing the things I should be doing.

While I believe I have a lot more energy, now that I exercise almost on a daily basis, I came to the conclusion that I do a lot more in a day than I thought. I still have very unproductive days but now I’m ok with these too.

I’ve also learned that overall, I’m happy. Not everything is peachy, but I’m happy.

Autumn sunshine

October highlights

October starts with invoicing! Yes, I invoice most of my fees quarterly and yes, this is highly stressing. My ‘new’ clients invoices were pretty much ready to be sent out on the 1st, but I had to wait for a confirmation and it didn’t come a day too soon. I was really eager to send such invoices and get the money. A new attitude for me! It was reinsuring for some reasons. It was like a validation that this would work and that I could manage. Manage the job and just importantly manage my new cashflow.

In the middle of invoicing time, we sent the termination notice for our lease. No matter what happens in 3 months, new apartment ready or not (it won’t be), we’ll be out! My partner was stressed out. The unknown… I reminded him that he was a lot less worried when he spent an outrageous amount of money on the new apartment! This did the trick.

Once all of my administrative work was done, it was time to go to my dad’s place. It was a trip that stressed me because of the anniversary of my mom’s passing. I knew, it would be just the 2 of us, at the cemetery, mostly silent at 16:20 precisely, going to the church afterward to light a candle. Even if I knew, I was uncomfortable. And so it went but with a twist because I drove Minty to the cemetery! That really made a difference.

Needless to say, Minty was glorious! I drove 150km that weekend and I boldly went the furthest, I have ever gone. Met some friendly bikers. Minty was photographed quite a bit. It was weird.

Minty in front of Chambord

Now, I’m not proud of it but the usual vaccine talk with my dad didn’t go well. He was pissed and shaken, I was pissed and very resentful.

After that week-end, it was just back to sorting and packing. Meeting with the moving company, the real estate agent… and work.

October ended with a long week-end with friends and it was glorious. Good company, good wine, very little sleep… 3 days disconnected from the world spinning around and all responsibilities and worries. It was just what I needed!

Adventurous mushroom picking
Went mushroom picking and all I could find were deadly ones! 😦

The main outcome

I had great hopes for October as it is one of my favorite month. In short, it partly delivered gloriously and it partly was disappointing. A little bit of life on stand by, a little bit of magic. Some fun and lots of responsibilities… A lot of packing and still a lot more to do. Nothing was bad per say (except the part below the picture).

October was just filled with moments with different vibes leading to different emotions. Petty arguments with the real estate agents about our current apartment and creative discussions with the carpenter with regards to our new apartment. Lengthly professional lunch with slightly forced conversations and inspiring moments with friends. Uplifting and energizing workouts and painful packing… It wasn’t the roller coaster I felt earlier this year, it was different. I felt different.

Autumn colors

I must admit I am not proud of how I left things with my dad. I was so annoyed the day I left partly because of the vaccine talk, partly because of a stupid incident. Annoyed is really not strong enough to describe how I felt. Gave him the silence treatment, which is my specialty… Went for a walk… it didn’t work, I couldn’t shake it off. I’m really not proud. I felt stupid for doing this to myself and even more for doing this to him.

Anyway…

Overall, October felt like a pivotal moment. I’m pretty sure such a feeling will linger until we move. It was originally planned for December but things have changed. Construction delays mean we will move out early January, with no idea when we will move in our new apartment. Hopefully mid February.

Somehow this month made me feel like I still need to learn to do this adult thing. I kind of thought I was getting it right, I had enough training already, but maybe you never stop ‘adulting’.

Little follow-ups

Money investment: I kept investing but this month I didn’t quite invest what I could have. There are a lot of spending coming with the finalization of our new apartment and that’s a priority.

Drawing / sewing: Ain’t got time for that! But I really need to sew my saddle.

Pam? Well, I don’t know what’s going on but it’s getting easier and easier! 😉 I don’t swear anymore.

NMN? I finished my bottle! I don’t think I’m going to get more, maybe next year. Will see.

Best buy of the month

It has to be Pam’s advent calendar! 1.2m of mostly yummy, healthy and vegan treats.

Pam Advent calendar - Naturally Pam products

What’s ahead?

London is calling! I’m only mildly excited because this trip is all about family obligations.

Then more packing, more work, a lot less fun although I’m going back to see my dad right after London. This is usually partly fun because of Minty of course! But this time I don’t think I’ll get to ride. We shall start rebuilding the Peugeot with no name instead and we’ll see how that goes.

I’m slightly worried because I don’t see how I’m going to survive these 3 challenging weekends in a row, with all I have to do in between.

The worst part is really that I do not see a way to get into the Christmas vibe, or even how to get to slightly enjoy the 2 next months. Part of me is ok with that because life can’t always rainbows and parties. But part of me wants to do it all. Got to find a balance…

Something to read / Something I learned

I found on a website a quote that says:

“If the direction is correct, sooner or later you will get there!”

It was indicated as a Chinese proverb but I couldn’t really confirm that. Nevertheless, it resonated with my current trajectory and gave me hope!

However while searching the origin of such quote, for some reasons, I ended up on an extensive list of Murphy’s law variations and corollary laws and such list greatly made me laugh! You can check it out here.